Pretty Little Dirty by Amanda Boyden

Author:Amanda Boyden
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780307275912
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2006-03-13T16:00:00+00:00

MINOR THREAT

POMONA, JULY ’84

Waiting for the band to appear for sound check, play mumblety-peg outside with the roadie. He is your temporary guardian, for you have proven yourself, finally. You have earned the privilege to be abused by those behind the doors. By those with microphones and fists.

You have built a reputation for yourself as one of two dick-sucking trajectory sensations, as one of two who improve the show backstage and front. You have taken to the leap and dive and crash like a Jim Jones devotee. Birdbrained and wingless, you hurl yourself into the frothing dancers. They all, the all of them, admire your flights.

Remember, this is important: Never trust that you will be caught by the outstretched hands.

Asking if you have eaten cunt lately, the roadie distracts himself from the game and misses. His knife drills into the cracked leather of your boot, tongue side of the steel toe. Figure you will bleed, but no more than usual. He feels bad, however, and even tells you as much. With his accent and pained look, wonder how he has made it so long. Wonder if he has lied about his time on the road.

Wiggle your toes in your boot. Ask him if you can shave his head. Consider carving a swastika between his eyebrows. Consider taking him home.

Remember, this is important: Never trust that you will be saved by anyone.

See the band coming. The van in which the members ride does not slow enough, though, takes the curb, and plows into the small pile of black garbage bags mounded in front of the no-parking sign. The bags contain the band’s own clothes. The bags are luggage. You and the roadie have forgotten to move the luggage into the dressing room.

Expect punishment. Look to the roadie who could mete out the lashes, but he is already at the garbage bags, talking, tugging as if they were humans. Recognize the error of your ways. Realize that you have made a brief miscalculation in judgment. A small failing. Nothing. A few garbage bags. A few grains of sand. You have made too many errors to count.

Remember, this is important: Never trust that you will be redeemed.

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